If there is one thing family members understand, it's how to get on one another's nerves and get under one another's skin.
Occasionally, that kind of irritation is unconscious and unintentional. People have behavioral ticks that can be frustrating to others, regardless of whether or not they are trying to control themselves. But when it comes to the people with whom you grow up, you come to know and understand them too well, sometimes to a fault. Sure, family members are supposed to be unconditionally supportive of one another in theory, but it can be difficult to maintain that level of respect and support in practice.
Some family members behave in ways in which they clearly do not consider the consequences of their actions, particularly as it relates to how it affects other family members. Decent family members are emotionally intuitive enough to consider the feelings of others within their unit. Unfortunately, some folks are so stifled and stunted that they cannot understand how their actions might be perceived as insensitive and even cold.
This author's father, for instance, did not seem to connect the dots when his 24-year-old daughter expressed her feelings of disappointment after she and her spouse spent Christmas at his place with his second wife. When she surveyed the house, she could not help but notice that all the pictures of her that were once everywhere had been replaced by photos of her father's 18-year-old nephew. Perhaps this was her stepmother's doing, but regardless, her father should have known better. He didn't even have a decent excuse when he was confronted about the matter.
Over the course of the past year since Christmas, the author has not spoken to her father or his new family. In fact, the only elder in the family with whom she has maintained a strong relationship is her grandmother. Of course, her grandmother is not happy about the state of this fractured family dynamic. She has been pressuring the author to make amends with her father, but why should she? It's not like her father apologized or has made any admission of wrongdoing in the months since Christmas? If he cannot fess up to his own mistakes, then not much has changed. If not much has changed, then there really is no point in the author making an effort. After all, a healthy dynamic between family members is a two-way street!
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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